(Originally posted 2019.09.07)
I was an atheist for most of my teenage years. By my mid-20s, I turned to spirituality to find purpose and stability. I settled with Theravada Buddhism, which was proselytized as a “godless religion”, because it appealed to my lingering secular sentiments. After 12 years of Vipassana and Buddhānussati practice, I made great progress cultivating equanimity and a devotional mindset. Nevertheless, the renunciant leanings of the Theravada eventually left me feeling stifled and isolated. I pursued two other Buddhist lineages, Zen and Pure Land. Both made a strong initial connection, but, to my disappointment, this connection was only fleeting. I soon realized the futility of relying upon intermediaries. To find the Truth that I sought, I needed to surrender my ego to the highest authority. I needed to seek the voice of God.